Dr Phil’s new book “How to Not Wear Your Pants” will be released in Australia later this year. Addressing the issues arising from not wearing pants, it contains contributions from the some of the world’s most renown commentators on this topic.
When Dr Phil invited me to write the introductory chapter, I was quite amazed.
“What are you doin’?” He drawled in that quirky dialect of his as spasms of mirth rippled through my elated frame. I gasped through my heaving lungs. I thought I was in real trouble, but Dr P stepped in a gave me a quick slap across the occipital. He’s a real quick thinker.
I didn’t want to let the big fella down so I leapt to my Remmington and began tapping away at the keys. Before long I realised that the ribbon was quite dry and the darn thing hadn’t put a single mark on my piece of paper. Unhinged, but not so unhinged as to give up, I picked up my telephone receiver and dialed my stationer.
“Bill,” I shouted into my phone “Bill, I need a new ribbon for my Remmington Deluxe and hurry!”
Bill informed me that typewriter ribbons are no longer available, and that his name was not Bill, it was Dianne and if I called again he would hang up immediately. Women!
No typewriter and a whole chapter to write!
Fortunately I am quite computer literate, or “Plugged In” as we technically minded people often quip. I sprang to my desk and cast aside a damp towel and my tax papers for the 2000/2001 financial year, to reveal my computer. With a delightful Apple chime, it whirred to life and I was able to finish my chapter without further complication.
I wanted to provide a sample of that work here, but Dr Phil, who can be quite the tyrant, threatened to enslave me and my entire neighbourhood if I did, so it will have to wait for another time. Apologies. “How to Not Wear Your Pants” by Dr Phil comes out in October will be available at all good book stores and selected mediocre ones.