Ask Dr Aunty Joan

Well, Dr Aunty Joan hasn’t been able to answer any of your enquiries for some time, what with Athens and everything. She’s been training extremely hard, which is why we here at SGR were so proud when she won gold. This makes her the first woman since the Berlin Olympics to even make the finals in the 90kg division weightlifting, and she brought home the gold. Congrats Dr Aunty J.

And there’s no rest for her yet. Here is a letter from one of our fans:

Dear Aunty Joan,
I have this problem you see, I don’t like the thought of sharing footwear with another being. But just today a young girl asked me to lend her my shoes as she had none and i couldn’t bring myself to refuse. Now just looking at these shoes send a shiver down my spine. I feel so violated. How do you suggest I work on getting over my fear of contracting Tinea from my shoes? They are a favourite pair of mine too, and it is not a solution to throw them and get a new pair. Please help me Aunty Joan.
From a young woman in need

Dear Young Woman in need,
First let me start by saying that you are not alone. When it comes to personal items there are two types of people in this world: the sharers and the non-sharers. And I suspect, like me, you are a non-sharer. Don’t be mistaken, I’m not for a moment saying that if a friend needed a pencil, some food or $5, that you wouldn’t be happy to share. But stationery, food and money are one thing; shoes are quite another.
I wouldn’t feel guilty or selfish, you’ve spent possibly years getting those shoes to fit the unique shape of your foot, and now, in a single day, due to the absent mindedness of a friend, you’re back to square one. On the other hand, don’t be too harsh on your friend, she is obviously not a non-sharer and can’t understand what could possibly be wrong with a bit of footwear apportion.
What you need is a tube of Daktarin and a pair of latex socks. Both can be acquired from a good chemist. Next time your friend asks to borrow your shoes, say “Sure, but you might need these” (give her the latex socks and Daktarin). She will probably say something like “Do you have tinea or something?” You should reply, “Well, the Doctors say it’s not exactly tinea, but that I should be careful”. This ought to deter her from taking your shoes.
Don’t throw out your shoes but do give them a good dusting with Daktarin and leave then out in the sun. Then give them a good clean and I’m sure they’ll seem like their old selves.
I hope this helps.
Dr Aunty Joan.

Dr Aunty Joan will be appearing at Westfield Parramatta 12pm this Saturday, apparently K-mart are having a sale.


One thought on “Ask Dr Aunty Joan”

  1. hahahahahahahaaaaaaz, so i can see DR JOan at the sale?? i guess she’ll be in da shoe isle… no chance of anyone wanting to borrow my tevas (sandals), they’re the stinkiest in da world!!!


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