So anyways, who actually likes Salt and Vinegar chips? Let me tell you: nobody. They’re rubbish. There was one guy who thought he liked them, but it turned out he didn’t. Besides, he was an idiot who didn’t know what he was talking about. These days he works at Channel Ten advocating for another season of Idol every year.

Despite this, the boneheads of Smiths chips, et al., think that in order to have a legitimate line-up of chip-based products, you have to include S&V. Dear me…how misguided and foolish they are. “But,” they would no doubt say, if they thought that I was anything but a raving looney with a vendetta against the S&Vs, “The consumer demands it.” Sound logic, except for one thing. The consumer is essentially a moronic sheep-like creature who strolls down the aisles of Woolworths, IGA or Coles jamming random things into his or her trolley based on whether or not there was an ad for them last night during Home and Away. He sees the maroon packet with shiney post-modern logo and tosses the product into his shopping without so much as a passing thought for the consequences.

Please, please, please, PL33ZE! For the love of all things sacred and edible in this world, do what you can NOW to break the cycle. Stop the mindless insult on our senses. Whoever you are, stop buying, making, selling, transporting, looking at or thinking about salt and vinegar chips. And while we’re at it, let’s see what we can do about bringing back Dr Pepper.



3 thoughts on “Chippies”

  1. I love salt and vinegar chips – they are my favourite. And let me tell you once you leave Australia the choices for those of us who love Salt and Vinegar flavoured chips are very remote. Smiths are my number one pick when I go out hunting for a good chippy… so there you go. You not only know someone who like them (loves them) but (eek!) you are related to them!


  2. BTW – love all the little stories – esp the one about “year of” you really NEED to write some books – there is a reading public just waiting out there –

    See Ya


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